Wednesday, October 31, 2007

ALL HALLOWS EVE

10.31.07

Once upon All Hallows Eve, I sat idle, my aim to achieve
Something for a blog that would not so greatly bore.
While I sat, almost sleeping, there came a guilt, gently creeping,
Creeping like a ghost through me to my core.
‘Damn,’ Thought I, ‘why could I not have prepared myself before?’
‘Prepared myself for more Halloween decor?’

Ah, distinctly I remember, back in August and September,
When I should have begun many a design for Halloween art galore.
Instead I was busy crafting, with pen and paper busy drafting,
Other projects not related to the festival I so adore.
A festival I should have seen approaching at the fore,
Those months are gone for evermore.

The ideas I should have completed, and mediums I could have greeted
With the passion of one who treated All Hallows as a secret amour.
Instead I sit here much dejected, feeling guilty and rejected,
Because I neglected to make plans long enough before.
Because I didn’t pay attention to the calendar lore.
I can only blame myself for evermore.

So what will I share this chill October, when what is lacking makes me sober,
So sobered by the dearth of Halloween projects upon my floor?
At the present what I can relate are so few things done for this date,
Things not so well accomplished as in former days of yore.
Only a handful of sad little projects to explore.
So few things to share therefore.

The first such project I did conclude was one I thought a little crude,
A costume of a charming lion for a niece whom I do adore.
Crocheted mane, ears, tail and feet, for a child so naïve and sweet,
Who has nightly practiced her mighty lion’s roar.
She doesn’t know auntie would rather be arm deep in phony gore,
Or reading about a raven named Nevermore.



Then I turned a gloomy eye to a sweater I have long decried.
I must embroider this offensive garment so I do not deplore
The wearing of such a cloth, but might I not design a motif so goth,
Like the spider’s webs I sew upon the breast of this I wore?
‘Tis worlds better than it was before.
Although I wish it ‘twere much more.


Lastly in this Halloween farce I sought to carve a Jack so sparse,
Only something a comrade might not deem an eyesore.
A flash of knife on pumpkin rind, towards the bizarre I am inclined,
And so I shape this Hallow’s lantern with an alien door.
One, a ship and the other a twinned horror,
To light the stoop of my front door.


That is all I can now say, All Hallows Eve has come this day.
I was not prepared this year, although I do implore
Do not judge me by just one night, I still have much insight,
And there are many more crafts I can explore,
And come next year I will restore,
My love of Halloween, for evermore.

-Lyzard (Channeling Poe)

Saturday, October 27, 2007

The Yarn Monster Is Alive And Well

Not unlike Lyzard’s rampaging gorilla, creativity comes roaring through my own mind unchecked and ferocious. Unfortunately the ideas arrive in packs, anxious to be tamed into a physical existence. Otherwise they sit festering, or worse, forgotten, as the momentum passes and I slide back into artistic stagnation (and exhaustion).

It’s something I hope to overcome someday, to control those stampedes. Until then I try my hardest to satisfy each idea-creature, seemingly at a snail’s pace. My technique at this point is to start as many projects as I can all at once and work on each in an erratic and broken fashion, hoping that they will all be completed someday. This seems to be working for knitting projects, at least.

The last spurt came a couple of days ago when I sat down to decide what to give people this Christmas. Big surprise: it’s a long list of knitted goodies. After a trip to the store (self-restraint left at home) there are now five projects in the works. And six still running amok, but a girl’s gotta sleep sometime.

Time to fire up the coffee pot, stretch those fingers, and twist some yarn.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

SIMPLE CROCHET SHAWL PATTERN

10.25.07



This project began as a request by my dear mum for a square shawl she could fold diagonally for warmth. Since the nature of crochet is to be lacy and full of spaces I thought a folded shawl was a good idea.


Never having written down a pattern before I began to see the interesting issues that would arise during the conception of this project. First of all the only measurement I could count on would be the diagonal length as it was draped around the shoulders. The best way to figure this out is to take a measuring tape and drape it around yourself to see where it falls. Note the measurement. Alternatively you can use a piece of yarn or string to get the feel for how long of a diagonal you will need. You can then measure the string with a ruler.


Sixty inches was the measurement we came up with. Now comes the interesting part: a little geometry and algebra. Who knew? You actually DO use this stuff in the real world!
(I can’t believe I’m teaching math on a blog about artwork! This one’s for you Ms. Massey!)


So the width and height of the square is 42.4 inches. I rounded it out to 43 inches for simplicity’s sake.


Now, to actually begin crocheting…


I wanted to try a new stitch with this shawl, so I began by getting out a very handy book: The Crochet Stitch Bible by Betty Barnden. It’s a collection of illustrated crochet stitches, how to create them, and other useful pointers. The stitch pattern I picked out is a very fun and interesting pattern called "Mophead stitch." If you like the look of the stitch (see photograph above) then I’ve included the steps below, but feel free to find your own stitch pattern if the Mophead stitch doesn’t interest you. The internet is a great place to find free stitches to try out, or you can even make up your own.


Mophead stitch pattern:


Foundation:
Ch a multiple of 10 sts to get as close to your "a" measurement as possible, then ch one st more.

Row 1:
Sc in 3rd ch from hook.
*ch 3, skip 2 ch, sc in next 3 ch.*
Repeat from * to * ending with a sc in the last 2 ch.
Turn.

Row 2:
Ch 1, skip first sc, sc in next sc, sc in 3 ch sp.
*Ch 3, skip 1 sc, dc in center sc of 3 sc group, ch 3, skip 1 sc, sc in 3 ch sp, sc in next 3 sc, sc in 3 ch sp.*
Repeat from * to * ending with sc in last 3 ch sp, sc in last sc, and sc in turning ch.
Turn.

Row 3:
Ch 1, skip first sc, sc in next sc.
*Ch 3, skip 1 sc, sc in 3 ch sp, sc in dc, sc in 3 ch sp, ch 3, skip 1 sc, sc in next 3 sc (center 3 sc of 5 sc)*
Repeat from * to * ending with sc in last sc and one sc in turning chain.
Turn

Row 4:
Ch 6, skip first 2 sc.
*Sc in 3 ch sp, sc in next 3 sc, sc in 3 ch sp, ch 3, skip sc, dc in next sc (center sc of 3 sc), ch 3, skip sc.*
Repeat from * to * ending with dc in turning ch.
Turn

Row 5:
Ch 1, skip dc.
*sc in 3 ch sp, ch 3, skip 1 sc, sc in next 3 sc (center 3 sc of 5 sc), ch 3, skip sc, sc in 3 ch sp, sc in dc.*
Repeat from * to * ending with sc in 6 ch sp, sc in 3rd ch of turning ch.

Repeat rows 2-5 until desired length (measurement "a") has been achieved.

Stitch Key:
Ch…..Chain
Dc…Double Crochet
Sc…..Single Crochet
Sp…..Space
St…..Stitch
Sts…..Stitches

Enjoy!

-Lyzard

Sunday, October 21, 2007

GHOST IN THE MIRROR

10.21.07

No, it’s not a crack about how pale I look when I gaze in the mirror most mornings… This is an honest-to-goodness Halloween crafty that’s been cooking away in my brain for a few weeks now.

I was inspired by a much more complex and costly Halloween idea that is used in some haunted houses. In that setup you use a two-way mirror set in front of a black box. Small lights are installed within the parameter of the box and an object is placed inside, behind the mirror. When the lights are turned on you can see the object or image through the mirror. When the lights go out it looks like a normal looking-glass.

I wasn’t quite ready to take the time and money needed to create that elaborate of a project, but I did like the idea of a ghost in the mirror. I decided to make a very low-tech version.

The first stop was to the local craft store to see what they had in the way of mirrors. Lucky me! This gem was less expensive than a mirror of the same size with a frame and it gives me twice as much to play with since the wood needs finishing too!


Most craft stores carry these inexpensive unfinished wood items like this one, but you could also try garage sales and thrift stores for even cooler finds.

The first step was to work with the mirror.

I determined that the best way to make a convincing “ghost” would be to use an airbrush through a stencil to create a very light rendering of a woman’s face. So after a couple of sketches I had a simple image that I traced onto a sheet of stencil material. Using a sharp X-acto knife I cut out the stencil and mounted it on some construction paper so I wouldn’t accidentally over-spray the stencil onto the mirror. To get a fuzzy image with no sharp lines I made sure the stencil was not laying directly on the mirror. I used a couple of DVD cases to keep the stencil a couple of centimeters away from the mirror.

Here’s where I learned a lot about painting on mirrors. Evidently the paint I bought at the craft store that is specifically made for glass does NOT work in an airbrush, even watered down. Oops. So I used a pearlized white airbrush paint instead. The only issue is that the airbrush paint I have is in no way permanent on glass. This was both a boon and a curse. I had to re-paint several times after I had smudged the “ghost” image with my hand while I was doing some later painting. However, the paint came right off with some glass cleaner which gave me the chance to perfect my airbrush/stencil technique. For now this mirror will have to be totally “hands-off” when it is finished and hanging on the wall.

I realize most people do not own airbrushes. One alternative would be to free-hand paint a face on your mirror with some glass paint or even acrylic paint and a brush. Another idea would be to make a stencil with paper or stencil material and using a sponge lightly fill in the stencil with paint. That could possibly give the “ghost” a very cloudy and insubstantial look. To soften up any part of the “ghost” use a sponge that has been lightly sprayed with a glass cleaner and gently daub around in a random pattern. You have to do this while the paint is still wet or you may have some very distracting dried paint flakes all over your image.

Next, I wanted to give my mirror an aged appearance. Using some sponges and a mixture of black acrylic, pearlized acrylic medium and water I gently sponged on the paint around the edges of the mirror. Keeping some sponges damp, but free of paint, I was able to fade the paint out as it got closer to the center of the mirror. Looking back it probably would have been easier to do the aging first and the “ghost” second. Oh well, you live, you learn!

With the mirror finished the next step is to work on the wooden frame portion.

I wanted to make the furniture portion look old and weathered, but still elegant so I did some internet searching of antiques. After getting a basic idea of what I wanted I got out my Sculpy clay and went to work making the 3D reliefs. Sculpy is a relatively cheap polymer clay that can be found at almost every craft store and baked in a home oven.

I used a combination of a clay extruder gun, an X-acto knife and my hands to fashion the individual designs. To make it easier to I traced the frame onto a foil-covered baking sheet. This eliminated the need to compare each design against the wood background before transferring it to the baking sheet and potentially distorting the designs. After the clay reliefs came out of the oven I glued them to the wood with an epoxy.

Finally, I got to do some painting. Although blue is not usually my first choice in furniture colors I thought a light silvery blue would give this piece a more antique feel. The paint I used was your basic craft-store acrylic paint in Wedgewood Blue, a pearlescent white, and a little black to grey out the color a bit.

After the frame was painted and had dried I decided to try a crackle finish to give it an aged appearance. I had never worked with this crackle medium before so I wasn't exactly sure how it would work out. After I painted on the crackle finish and let it dry I found that the effect was too subtle for my taste, even after two thick coats, so I had to take the painting one step further.

To make the crackling more dramatic and to give the frame an even more aged look I mixed black acrylic paint with water and painted the whole piece before going back over the frame with a paper towel to soak up the excess paint and water. From there it was just a matter of letting the paint dry and putting the mirror back into it's frame.

I'm happy with the result and all-in-all I can say the experiment was pretty successful. Maybe next Halloween season I'll try my hand at that more complicated build, but for now I'm satisfied with my ghost-in-the-mirror.

-Lyzard

Thursday, October 18, 2007

I NEED A FIX

10.18.07

Hello, my name is Lyzard, and I’m a… a craft addict…

I, uh, fell off the wagon… again… about a week ago… and I went on another three-day-bender.

It all started last week. I was really jonesing for a craft fix and as much as I tried to resist I just couldn’t shake that monkey on my back. So I went to my local dealer Ben F. (maybe you’ve heard of him?) to hook up. The sad thing is that it wasn’t even the primo stuff, but when you need it, you need it, man.

I told myself I’d only get a little something to tide me over for a little while, but you know how it goes…

Man, they had so much stuff, and all the paraphernalia to go with it. They even had people crafting right there in the open! I couldn’t believe it- old ladies doing it in plain sight and they weren’t even waiting to get home to get their fix!

But I didn’t care, I didn’t even give a thought as to what it cost; I just had to have it!

Work was a total blur the next day- all I could think about was going home, rolling up my sleeves and getting right to it.

I spent the next three nights in a craft-induced frenzy. I barely ate, I barely slept- I just couldn’t get enough!

First I hit the computer pretty hard. Those t-shirt designs have swelled into an insidious and all-consuming habit.

Having not sated my need I moved on to the harder stuff: airbrushing. I’m still new to this experience, but as all you closet artists know, drawing and painting were just gateway addictions to this new dependency. When I get my head clear again there will be full disclosure (and a full explanation) as to what the hell this picture is all about.



Then I realized that I still had some of the green stuff to finish off, but that wasn’t a problem as you can see.

So, here I am in the aftermath of my creative frenzy: eyes burning, hands trembling and all I can think is...

…Dude, I need another fix…


-Lyzard

Monday, October 15, 2007

Current Craft Carnage

‘Tis sweater season finally, and in anticipation of those creeping tendrils of cold air I’m knitting up a cardigan. It’s a pattern I came across whilst perusing the web buffet of yarn goodies recently.

Now this particular pattern calls for a main yarn color of cream and a contrasting color of lavender, which led me to the first deviation: gray and black yarn. The second change I absolutely had to make was to the fair isle design. It’s a repeated pattern of a snowflake, which I would never think of actually wearing…

…UNLESS it has Death’s toothy grin smack in the middle of it!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Self-Taught Knitting: Zen For A Fiend

It’s been nearly a year since I picked up the needles, intending to create inexpensive (yet lovingly made) gifts for family members, and have been an addict ever since. Knitting is a world that is ever expanding for me; so far it has evolved from simple garter stitch scarves to intarsia sweaters with many increases and decreases between and a limitless horizon ahead.

Now many people out there, including myself once, think of knitting as Gran Gran’s boring hobby. These days, however, there is a movement of fiber artists out there proving that it doesn’t have to be all cutesy mittens and dreaded Christmas sweaters. Ironically, I fully intend to create dreaded sweaters, but in a different sense.

Knitting is not necessarily an easy journey, but that’s half the fun. (OK, maybe not when you have to unravel half of your project to fix a silly mistake you failed to notice way back when it was easy to undo, but that’s something you just have to get over – it’s inevitably going to happen. Besides, knitting backwards is a valuable skill to know.) With every new pattern there are different techniques to learn, designs to create, and alterations to figure out. Sometimes it takes patience, persistence, and quite possibly an obsessive personality to make it through the process.

The surprise for me was discovering that I enjoy that process. It’s a form of meditation, or self-medication with only mild side effects (mostly involving a neglected boyfriend and a growing stash of yarn). At least it provides serenity for the time being, and the opportunity to finally listen to that audio book…although now if I knit a particular leaf lace pattern haunting images from Heart of Darkness will spring to mind. …ssk, p1, k2tog…the horror. The horror.

I mean OHMMM…

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

KONNICHIWA READER-SAN

10.9.07

Art Fiend inspired me
Must write this post in haikus
Hate haiku? Too bad.
*****

Crochet like a fiend
Using up all the old yarns
Lost dogs have blankets.

*****
Halloween is fun
Good URLs I have found
Geeks like us need links.

http://www.hauntproject.com/

http://www.zombiepumpkins.com/

*****
Vampyr Hunters, look!
New artwork at Cafe Press
Go buy a T-shirt.

*****
Alpaca sweater
Only sleeves and trim to go
The end is in sight.

*****

Next post very soon

There is much more to discuss

Sayonara now.

-Lyzard

Friday, October 5, 2007

CABINET OF CURIOSITIES: HALLOWEEN REDUX

10.05.07

Come one, come all… Step right up and see the amazing, the horrifying and sometimes stupefying Cabinet of Curiosities!

Shudder at the Bell Witch’s devious apothecary!
Recoil in horror at the Medusa Lisa!
Be repulsed by a gruesome assembly of rare and grotesque oddities!

See the Halloween Redux and explore the numerous projects from last year’s creative frenzy!

Let me first introduce you to the horrifying visage of the MEDUSA LISA by Leonardo De Vilry. Please keep your eyes averted and do not stare directly at the portrait folks, she may turn you to stone with her ghastly gorgon gaze.

Bastardization of the Mona Lisa by Leonardo De Vinci, in acrylic paints on cold press watercolor paper. For prints please visit: www.cafepress.com/nightfallaccess

The second stop on our trek through the bizarre is the modern masterpiece THREE MONSTERS by Lowblow Pickaxeso. These shambling monsters will give you cubist nightmares.

Even worse bastardization of Three Musicians by Pablo Picasso, in acrylic paints on cold press watercolor paper. For prints please visit: www.cafepress.com/nightfallaccess

The next stop in our ghoulish gallery is a fragment of the title page from the accursed book Necronomicon by the “Mad Arab” Abdul Alhazred. It is the only known portion of the original Arabic text known to exist. A design based on the fictional book first conceptualized by writer H. P. Lovecraft. Drawing paper aged with dirt, burned edges and paint. The Arabic, I am told, is actually just nonsense and unfortunately does not say what I had intended. For those of us who do not read Arabic we can pretend it is correct until I get around to creating a more “accurate” recreation.

The collection you see before you has been donated from several anonymous contributors in the cryptozoology field, as well as more notorious patrons from H. P. Lovecraft’s estate and the Arkham University.
If you will look closely you will see the fetal specimens of Cthulhu, a Dune worm, and an El-Chupacabra as well as some gruesome spare parts found in Dr. Frankenstein’s laboratory.

Sculpy creations built around tin foil core and painted with acrylics. Handwritten labels aged and burned for effect. Specimen bottles contain water and highlighter ink to glow in the dark.

Straight from the study of Edgar Alan Poe comes our next exhibit, the nefarious raven, finally silenced… forevermore. The doomed raven resides in a charnel cage of human bones, extracted from the defiled graves of nefarious murderers.

Halloween store “raven” in a Sculpy bone cage. Cage was manufactured with a wire core for the bones and a cardboard floor under the clay. Painted with acrylic paints and decorated with “spider webbing.”

Our last macabre spectacle was discovered near the site of the historic Bell Witch haunting and many believe these gruesome ingredients and potions may have been a selection from the witch’s own loathsome apothecary.

Thrift store bottles filled with various found objects. Computer generated labels.

This concludes our sinister excursion through the Halloween Redux Cabinet of Curiosities. I hope you enjoyed your visit...
Lyzard

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Disentombment of the Month

A search through our various stashes, piles, and catacombs reveals many timeworn tokens of our artistic pasts. Some are pretty good, some are agonizingly bad, and some are just plain freaky! Still, we can't help but find amusement in their exhumation.



Before I start revealing the shocking, embarrassing and down-right lame projects from years gone by I thought I’d start by sharing a not-quite-as-old project that I’ve always had a soft spot for.

Meet Norman Batts, an accident-prone albino bat with a nervous affliction. Norman is a 3D creature that never quite came to life as a full-blown animated character. As you can see he began life as a color drawing and was finally transformed into a 3-D model.

Lyzard

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

RANTS, RAVES AND A RECENT RAMPAGE

It was a dark and stormy night…
(Actually it was about 52 degrees with a 70% chance of precipitation.)


Huddled in the dank cave the ghoul worked feverishly. Bent over its gruesome task, a vacant look played over its cadaverous features.
(Really, it’s more of a basement apartment, and I happen to take offense to the use of "ghoul." I may be pale, but that’s no reason to send a militant peasant mob my way.)


The tortuous implement clutched in its gnarled fist flashed back and forth in a hypnotic pattern weaving the alien fiber into gorgon knots of unspeakable complexity, for a purpose wholly unknown.
(In reality, the tortuous implement is really a size J crochet hook, the alien fiber is a dark green, baby alpaca yarn, the stitches aren’t all that complex, and if the purpose of this venture was wholly unknown then the sweater I’m making would be an exercise in futility!)


I invite you to come and feast your eyes upon the fruits of a dastardly rampage by the scheming, crocheting ghoul (I mean, fool.)

Stitch & Bitch: The Happy Hooker, Unseemly sweater. Not too shabby for a weekend’s work. Working up from the bottom edge in the round I’ve made it as far as the lowest point of the neck-line. Notice the brilliant waist-shaping technique? Just a change in the type of stitch is all it takes to pull the waistline in to create a more flattering silhouette. Those Happy Hookers certainly know a thing or two about the nature of the craft!


**********************************************************************************


While I wait for the next crochet rampage to strike I’d like to start a segment that I will most likely continue sporadically throughout this blog. I’d like to discuss my current RANTS and RAVES about CROCHET.


One of by biggest RANTS is GRANNY SQUARES. You know them, you detest them (at least I do) and you’ve probably seen them hanging off your grandmother’s couch. (They do call them granny squares for a reason, you know!) These multi-colored squares seem to be synonymous with crochet and I personally feel they are besmirching the good name of this art-form. Now, before I get a ton of hateful comments (which I will garner my fair share, I’m sure) I want to specify that I’m not grouping motifs into this category. I’ve seen some really bitchin’ patterns with flower and star shaped motifs joined to create a wonderfully lacy fabric in flattering and amazing shapes, so stop freaking out, willya?


I think my biggest beef is the fact that granny squares are, well, square. They might be fine to make blankets and totes (which I still despise, although less so,) but try to make a garment out of them and you’ll find you’re wearing a shapeless, albeit colorful, sack. This may work if you look like my friend Slim (the blanket model for my last post), but for us normal people we suddenly look like we’ve all gone on the deep-fried-lard-diet.
I know, I know, granny squares are kitsch and totally retro, which I do enjoy from time to time, but can’t we practice our kitschy-retro-style with a little more fashionable restraint? Some ideas were just bad to begin with….


Now that I’ve totally alienated all my fellow crocheters out there I can disgust myself by going all Pollyanna with a little sugar-coated rave-session.


I don’t think I have a choice… I have to RAVE about the new crop of CROCHET DESIGNERS popping up everywhere recently. Not too long ago most of the crochet patterns were either stiff, garish sweaters from the 1970’s or painfully tedious doilies and table-linens from the Victorian era. Neither appeals to my sense of fashion. Luckily for me I began to learn crochet right as there was an explosion of modern and creative crochet designs flooding the market. Now, you can find hip, flattering, and totally unexpected patterns all over the place if you just know where to look. I can’t mention all the wonderful places I’ve purchased patterns from, but there are a few outstanding places to highlight:


Book: Stitch and Bitch: The Happy Hooker

Fun designs and a great way to learn the art of crochet.


Website: Stitch Diva
Beautifully feminine and downright sexy patterns in crochet (and knit.)


Website: Crochet Me
Patterns, tips, techniques and links. So many goodies I can’t begin to touch on
them all, plus it’s FREE!


Also if you check out Amazon (or your favorite local book store) you will notice there are even more crochet books scheduled to come out just in time for the holidays. I see a lot of hooking in my future!


Lyzard