Millions of kilobytes of crafty data were wiped clean off the map in Lyzard Hard-Drive, a modest metropolis in the state of Laptop, earlier this month. Experts say the infection spread quickly and complacent officials were not ready for the devastation that followed in the footsteps of this deadly virus.
“I done near lost ever-thang!” said resident Lotta Croshay when interviewed. “All my patterns n’ photos are gist gone!”
Another resident, Art Skanz, was more out spoken about the tragedy. “I don’t know where the administrators where when this went down, but all of us hardworking residents here in Lyzard Hard-Drive are going to have to start over from scratch and that’s a really tough blow for most of us! If we don’t see some serious restoration and better policing take place immediately I wouldn’t be surprised to see a mass exodus to a new platform.”
Spokespeople from the Panorama Operating System and Orton Police Force were not available for comment.
CROCHETER GOES MISSING- EXPERTS SAY ALIENS ARE TO BLAME!!
Beloved crocheter and talented artist Lyzard was reported missing by rabid Reliquary Arts blog fans over two months ago when her beloved blog, shared with fellow mega-starlet Art Fiend, went ominously silent. The first reports were ignored by authorities, but after repeated reports from distraught Reliquary Arts devotees police were forced to concede that the lack of blog posts was not due to laziness on the part of Lyzard and her cohort, but a serious cause for concern. Unfortunately it wasn’t until just recently when top F.B.I. agents Sculler and Mouldy joined the investigation that any progress was made with this high profile case.
The newest leads are pointing this crack investigative duo towards the skies, and the assumption that alien races are interested in learning fiber arts, but more can not be known without further inquiry from top minds.
AMAZING GARMENTS SPOTTED ON BIGFOOT & NESSIE!
Besides being the major attractions in places such as the Northwest United States and Loch Ness, Scotland (respectively) these well known beasties are branching out into the fashion industry and have started sporting spectacular crochet designs to promote talented fiber artists.
A quick-witted photographer was able to catch Bigfoot in this cute outdoorsy number. In a mottled green this sweater is perfect for blending in on a camping trip.
Japonaise Tunic from Sensual Crochet. Modified with criss-cross drawstring closure.
Here’s Nessie showing off a little multi-cultural style in a Mandarin style top, crocheted in red and black acrylic yarn.
China Doll pattern from Interweave Crochet Magazine, Spring 2008.-Lyzard
